is it smart to plan a visit when there’s no solid plan for the future? no mapped out solution, no clear way this could ever actually work long term? probably not. probably the logical move is to pull back, step away, let go before things get too tangled. save ourselves the pain of the eventual unraveling. find someone nearby. someone with fewer complications. someone who doesn’t require airports and calendars and aching goodbyes.
but love doesn’t care about logic. it never has. and what we have doesn’t live in that clean, rational space. it lives somewhere else. the late night texts ending with sweet little gifs to show how we feel, the longing i believe both of us struggle with constantly, the ridiculous grins when a message lands at just the right time. it lives in the quiet belief that maybe, just maybe, something rare is worth holding onto even if it doesn’t fit into the shape of our lives right now.
not seeing each other doesn’t fix anything. it doesn’t protect us. it just slowly drains the life out of something beautiful. the distance starts to win. we stop building. we stop growing. and what’s left is a version of us frozen in memory instead of something alive and changing.
every visit matters. every time we can see each other matters and will stitch us closer together, not just with affection but with understanding. seeing each other again won’t magically solve anything, but it pulls us back into the same orbit. it reminds us of the reasons we even bother trying. and i think it’s only from that place, where we’re connected and present and feeling all of it, that we’ll actually be able to figure out the next steps. the long term plan.
long distance asks for more than most people are willing to give. it asks for trust that feels impossible. for effort that never stops. for hope that stretches across vast distances. it asks for sacrifice. and some days, it feels too heavy. but some days, like today, it feels like something sacred.
so no, it’s probably not the smart move. but it feels like the right one. and maybe that’s what matters most? it feels like it does to me.