i feel a little broken today. things are not going how i had hoped they would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
how could you say that to me? how did you think i would react? what did you expect would come of that? nothing good for sure. so why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i’m fucking trying to keep things together, but it’s not easy. i am fucking trying to spare everyone’s feelings as much as possible at the expense of my own. i’m fucking trying to be clear, concise and consistent with everything i say and do to make things easier for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and yes, the irony of me saying this whilst also being in the very center of a most selfish act on my part is palpable. i get that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i wish you could see. i wish you could understand. i wish you could appreciate, even if only slightly, the effort that i am putting towards this none the less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
have i mistaken you for someone you are not? have i totally misunderstood your previous words? have i completely miscalculated everything?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
perhaps i do need to be more selfish? perhaps i do need to put me first? why should i put so much thought and consideration into how you feel when the reciprocity is not quite there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
or maybe today is just a bad fucking day and i am overthinking everything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i feel a little broken today. things are not going how i had hoped they would. how could you say that to me? how did you think i would react? what did you expect would come of that? nothing good for sure. so why? i’m fucking trying to keep things together, but it’s not easy. … Continue reading forget it.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=615"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":616,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/615\/revisions\/616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}