i told k last night that i was unhappy with our relationship, that i feel like it is broken and not reparable, and that i have felt this way for a long time. i told her i do still love her, i am not angry and i don’t want to fight but we should end things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i thought there was going to be some kind of feeling of relief. i thought there might be some kind of positive aspect despite the very sad and upsetting reality of the situation. i thought i might feel hopeful, at least a little bit…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
instead all i feel is guilt, shame, sadness, self hatred even. it’s worse today than it has ever been. i feel like now instead of just feeling pain in my head and heart, i have inflicted pain on other people i care about and it is just amplifying what my own emotions are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i want to take it all back and just live with all that pain myself, alone, forever. i don’t want to cause this hurt for other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
this is not what i was expecting. i don’t know what to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i told k last night that i was unhappy with our relationship, that i feel like it is broken and not reparable, and that i have felt this way for a long time. i told her i do still love her, i am not angry and i don’t want to fight but we should end … Continue reading i’m sorry<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-575","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=575"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":576,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575\/revisions\/576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}