my writing here has slowed to a snail’s pace. which i think is both good and bad at the same time. i think the main reason is that i have been scratching at a certain itch for so long now that it has become raw and continuing to scratch at it just hurts. i’ve also been very pleasantly distracted as of late which has kind of sucked the need to yell nonsense into the world out of me a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but on the flip side, it’s a little scary to me that so much of my ability to feel ok is dependent on that kind of thing. i mean in some ways it’s amazing and beautiful and all the good things, but in other ways it just highlights that there is something very wrong with me. shouldn’t i just be able to be ok?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
are most people just ok on their own? or do most people also need constant attention, affection, interest, companionship, dare i say it, love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i’m meeting with linda again today. last week when i met with her the fallout was disastrous. i was a god damn mess for days. it didn’t feel good at all. the questions that came up made me feel like the worst person on the face of the planet. i’m worried today will be a repeat. i need to make some progress here. i need to actually figure something out. i need answers so i can come up with solutions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
my writing here has slowed to a snail’s pace. which i think is both good and bad at the same time. i think the main reason is that i have been scratching at a certain itch for so long now that it has become raw and continuing to scratch at it just hurts. i’ve also … Continue reading logistics<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,8,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sad","category-happy","category-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=457"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":458,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/457\/revisions\/458"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}