first, g, fuck you man. despite the fact we almost never see each other anymore, i love you like a brother. you’re one of the most important and influential people in my life. i know i wouldn’t be who i am today without you. no joke, you are one of the very few people in this world i would take a bullet for without any hesitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
so it fucking KILLS ME when you pull this shit. i know you have social anxiety and a million other self diagnosed ailments, but dude, it’s me. you understand that you are a terrible liar, right? i don’t even care if it’s just a text, an email, a voicemail, we don’t even need to see each other in person or leave our respective homes. just please stop stop stop making plans and then disappearing. i can’t take it. i needed to talk to you, and i think you wanted to talk to me too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
you’re leaving the day after my birthday. are you going to AT LEAST reply before then? tick tock mother fucker. <3<\/p>\n\n\n\n
next, k8, i really should send this to you in an email, but for whatever reason i feel like i need to state this out loud, well, this isn’t exactly out loud, but whatever, you know what i mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
i read through everything and my heart broke a million times. i so wish i could have been there in some capacity for you. but instead i had my head up my ass. i can’t help but wonder how things could have been different if only i had picked up the phone, answered an email, anything at all. i also can’t help but feel indirectly responsible, a contributing factor or at the very least an influential precursor to so many of your trials. maybe i am giving myself more credit than i am due. maybe i am just projecting based on the headspace you take up for me. i don’t know. either way, i really do hope you’re currently the happiest you have ever been. you deserve that. also, please don’t give up on writing. just fucking do it. i know it’s hard. trust me, i know it all too well. even if what comes out doesn’t live up to your standards, it’s fine. at least you did it. you have a gift with words that i certainly envy. don’t wait until it’s too late to use it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
last, k, bruh… why must you insist on poo-pooing on everything. i was excited about that AND the other thing too, and now i just want to give up on both. thanks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
first, g, fuck you man. despite the fact we almost never see each other anymore, i love you like a brother. you’re one of the most important and influential people in my life. i know i wouldn’t be who i am today without you. no joke, you are one of the very few people in … Continue reading feeling venty, might delete later<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=258"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":259,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258\/revisions\/259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nocarrier.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}